As of yesterday, Sunday, March 28th, I have officially made my decision to GO! This, of course, may not be a surprise to many of you, since it is evident that, for some time, this is the way the Lord has been leading, but what you may not know is that traveling to Zambia was not the only “opportunity” before me. After much prayer and counsel from trusted leadership and loved ones, the Lord did something amazing yesterday. He confirmed His leading in SO many incredible ways - He gently and lovingly shattered my questions, doubt and lack of faith, which was truly and absolutely necessary for this really dumb sheep (that would be me - haha). Thankfully, He is a wonderful, gentle, loving Good Shepherd!
The first thing that happened was during the breaking of bread service at my church. Verse after verse and song after song were shared about how abundantly good the Lord is to His children, and the Lord reminded me that His leading is right and that He is going to provide the money, and I needn’t worry about moving forward, for He will provide all that I need in His time, in His will and for His glory (Rms. 8:32, Eph. 3:20, Matt. 7:11).
Secondly, I visited my parents' church this same day, for their preaching service, and the young man who preached shared a story about a man who had journeyed to Africa... the moment I heard Africa and listened to this story, tears welled up in my eyes and began streaming down. Visiting my family at their church was no accident. The Lord was confirming yet again. I knew what this meant.
Thirdly, and later that evening, the Lord navigated me to many different devotionals, where yet again, He gently confirmed. An excerpt from Our Daily Bread, titled God Needs You!, says, “Think of it! The Creator of the universe needs us and desires to fit us into His eternal design! Though all-powerful and not dependent on any creature, He has chosen to carry out his plans through lowly human instruments... Someone once asked Francis of Assisi how he was able to accomplish so much. He replied, “This may be why: The Lord looked down from heaven and said, ‘Where can I find the weakest, littlest man on earth?’ Then He saw me and said, ‘I’ve found him. I will work through him, and he won’t be proud of it. He’ll see that I am only using him because of his insignificance.’ ”
The second devotional was from My Utmost for His Highest:
“Just because I don’t understand what Jesus Christ says, I have no right to determine that He must be mistaken in what He says. That is a dangerous view, and it is never right to think that my obedience to God’s directive will bring dishonor to Jesus. The only thing that will bring dishonor is not obeying Him. To put my view of His honor ahead of what He is plainly guiding me to do is never right, even though it may come from a real desire to prevent Him from being put to an open shame. I know when the instructions have come from God because of their quiet persistence. But when I begin to weigh the pros and cons, and doubt and debate enter into my mind, I am bringing in an element that is not of God. This will only result in my concluding that His instructions to me were not right. Many of us are faithful to our ideas about Jesus Christ, but how many of us are faithful to Jesus Himself? Faithfulness to Jesus means that I must step out even when and where I can’t see anything (see Matthew 14:29 ). But faithfulness to my own ideas means that I first clear the way mentally. Faith, however, is not intellectual understanding; faith is a deliberate commitment to the Person of Jesus Christ, even when I can’t see the way ahead.
Are you debating whether you should take a step of faith in Jesus, or whether you should wait until you can clearly see how to do what He has asked? Simply obey Him with unrestrained joy. When He tells you something and you begin to debate, it is because you have a misunderstanding of what honors Him and what doesn’t. Are you faithful to Jesus, or faithful to your ideas about Him? Are you faithful to what He says, or are you trying to compromise His words with thoughts that never came from Him? "Whatever He says to you, do it " (John 2:5 ).”
The third devotional was also from My Utmost for His Highest: and this one was quite significant... the Lord shattered my questioning and doubt...
Will You Go Without Knowing?
“Have you ever "gone out" in this way? If so, there is no logical answer possible when anyone asks you what you are doing. One of the most difficult questions to answer in Christian work is, "What do you expect to do?" You don’t know what you are going to do. The only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing. Continually examine your attitude toward God to see if you are willing to "go out" in every area of your life, trusting in God entirely. It is this attitude that keeps you in constant wonder, because you don’t know what God is going to do next. Each morning as you wake, there is a new opportunity to "go out," building your confidence in God. ". . . do not worry about your life . . . nor about the body . . ." (Luke 12:22). In other words, don’t worry about the things that concerned you before you did "go out."
Have you been asking God what He is going to do? He will never tell you. God does not tell you what He is going to do— He reveals to you who He is. Do you believe in a miracle-working God, and will you "go out" in complete surrender to Him until you are not surprised one iota by anything He does?
Believe God is always the God you know Him to be when you are nearest to Him. Then think how unnecessary and disrespectful worry is! Let the attitude of your life be a continual willingness to "go out" in dependence upon God, and your life will have a sacred and inexpressible charm about it that is very satisfying to Jesus. You must learn to "go out" through your convictions, creeds, or experiences until you come to the point in your faith where there is nothing between yourself and God.”
Fourthly, much later that evening, I picked up my Daily Light devotional book, and the last verse I read was this: ‘Arise and begin working, and the Lord be with you.’ 1Chron. 22:16
It has been an amazing process and journey so far, and today, Monday, March 29th, I took a major, and I mean MAJOR leap. The last bit of paper work was signed, dated, notarized and mailed. Now, I wait, pray and anticipate His continued provision and guidance. I haven’t a clue as to how or where the money will come from. I have chosen, before the Lord, to not fundraise for this trip. I wholeheartedly believe that when the Lord’s hand is in something He WILL provide. I am applying for the CMS scholarship, but other than that, I guess we’ll see how He provides. :) I am super-excited for what the Lord is doing and am filled with anticipation to see Him faithfully work and provide.
Soli Deo Gloria.
Soli Deo Gloria.
The following is a favorite poem hanging in my room... I think it speaks for itself. :) Enjoy.
My Goal is God Himself
by Frederick Brook
My goal is God Himself, not joy nor peace;
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God.
'Tis His to lead me there, not mine but His...
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road.
So faith bounds forward to its goal in God,
and love can trust her Lord to lead her there.
Upheld by Him, my soul is foll'wing hard,
Till God hath full fulfilled my deepest prayer.
No matter if the way be sometimes dark,
No matter though the cost be oft-times great,
He knoweth how I best shall reach the mark,
The way that leads to Him must needs be straight.
One thing I know, I cannot say Him nay;
One thing I do, I press on towards my Lord.
My God, my Glory here from day to day,
And in the glory there, my Great Reward.
